Nature, Nurture…. or Encoded Nurture?

The question of nature or nurture has always fascinated me. I’ve been known to engage in some healthy debate, sometimes into the early hours of the morning. I find it intriguing to wonder how much of me is fixed and passed down genetically, and how much is flexible and a result of my life experiences so far.

I find it more intriguing to ponder about this in regards to my children.

I know I’m not alone in this. Many foster and adoptive parents ask me whether true change is possible for their child. I think what they really mean is ‘how much longer will I have to live with (insert behaviour here) in my house?’. I get it. I’ve thought that very same thing on many occasions.

I’m not a scientist. In fact, it was the subject at school that I struggled the most with. I swear that the hardest thing my brain has ever had to try to learn is how the human brain works. I’m the girl who in one science lesson managed to set fire to herself with a Bunsen Burner!

The field of neuroscience is booming right now. Since the end of the last century, when we gained the ability to scan the brain, a huge amount of research has been done to consider why we are who we are. I love it, but I’ll happily admit to reading such research whilst also doodling pictures of the brain to remind myself which part does what!

What I’ve been wondering recently is if we need to move away from the question of nature vs nurture, and start to ask is it nature, nurture or encoded nurture?

That last one is my term, so let me be clear on what I mean…..

Nature: The parts of you which are a result of DNA that is fixed and very hard to change.
Nurture: The parts of you which are a result of how you have developed based on your experiences of relationships, environments and other external factors.
Encoded Nature: The part of you that is a result of the nurture your ancestors (especially parents) received.

Research seems to be suggesting that the experiences we have become coded within our DNA. When we have biological children we pass our DNA on to them.  This DNA is made up of both the hard-wired genetics that comes from centuries and centuries of human existence and also our soft-wired genetics from our lived experiences.

Here’s a TED talk that does a much better job of explaining this for you then I can……

Here are the things that came across really clearly to me from that video:

• Nurture begins in the womb. Children who are separated from their birth Mum immediately at birth will still have had 9 months of receiving care (or not) from her. This is why even if a child is placed immediately into their forever family, they can still have difficulties that go beyond the issues expected from the loss of a birth parent.

• The potential impact of a second parent figure is huge! It’s very reassuring on a difficult day to think that I am literally able to change my son’s genetic coding through how I parent them.

• Any changes I make for my children now will genetically influence their offspring. I often hear from adopters about how they now get to enjoy their securely-attached grandchildren.

• Change is absolutely possible – for your child genetically and for you in your experiences of living alongside them.

Anyone else have any thoughts on this or any other exciting research to share?